So I got home a few hours ago from a long weekend, the 27- today. I was with friends leading worship @ a camp for a youth group from Elkhart. What an awesome priviledge it was. It was amazing to see the advancement of the kids from day one to this mornings last session. God did some pretty cool stuff I think, and It was an honor to be apart of it for His glory. I plan on writing about some of my thoughts while there this weekend on another post a bit later so stay tuned.
@ 6:30 I almost went to bed because I thought it was 9 or 10. I'm quite tuckered out you could say.
Now I'm just chillin with Jack, got the mood lighting goin, listenin to jason mraz, and just relaxing. Good stuff.
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”- John 16:33
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Thursday, December 25, 2008
wrote a check for $3.75
So Last night was truly amazing. I had the priviledge of being apart of the 6 Christmas Eve services @ Granger Community. What an amazing night. Such a cool thing to celebrate the birth of Jesus our savior with a couple thousand people. It was a candle light service so one of my favorite parts was looking out at all the people from the stage when we all lifted up our candles and seeing the unity and of the little flames that lit the room. It stirred my heart every time. How awesome it was to join so many people in worship.
So anyways, I decided to stay in Indiana and sleep before I headed home to Ohio. Well this morn on my way home I got to the Indiana toll where i was supposed to pay, and realized that I had forgot to bring cash with me. So I pulled off to the side of the road, with the toll boxes right in front of me and sat there and thought about what I should do. I had been in this circumstance before with no money and a lady yelling at me. The last time the lady just payed for me and told me "get out of here" so this time i was worried cause the last lady wouldnt accept anything and was pretty upset. So i called home and my mom told me that i could ask for a bill to be sent to my home for the toll and they would accept that. So i pulled up to the window and told the lady I had no money. She wasnt happy. So i asked her if I could just have a bill sent to my address. She said no, you cant do that. She told me that she was going to call the police and I would probably have to wait about 2 hours for them to get there...I was thinking "oh man...what a way to start off Christmas." Then she asked me "what about a personal check? do you have one of those?" and hallelujah I did! So I asked her who to make it out to and she told me. Then I handed her the check and my drivers license and she compared my Ohio license to my Indiana address on the check and I thought for sure she was calling the cops again.
Thank God she believed me and I drove away wiping the sweat from my forehead saying "Phew". Can I just tell you how much I despise confrontation like that...sheesh, I don't like making people upset. I was pleading with the lady and being the nicest I could be.
And so now the day is almost over. I'm in the middle of playing Donkey Kong Country on Super Nintendo with my 2 brothers. Such good memories from when I used to be a gamer...
Gotta get back now
So anyways, I decided to stay in Indiana and sleep before I headed home to Ohio. Well this morn on my way home I got to the Indiana toll where i was supposed to pay, and realized that I had forgot to bring cash with me. So I pulled off to the side of the road, with the toll boxes right in front of me and sat there and thought about what I should do. I had been in this circumstance before with no money and a lady yelling at me. The last time the lady just payed for me and told me "get out of here" so this time i was worried cause the last lady wouldnt accept anything and was pretty upset. So i called home and my mom told me that i could ask for a bill to be sent to my home for the toll and they would accept that. So i pulled up to the window and told the lady I had no money. She wasnt happy. So i asked her if I could just have a bill sent to my address. She said no, you cant do that. She told me that she was going to call the police and I would probably have to wait about 2 hours for them to get there...I was thinking "oh man...what a way to start off Christmas." Then she asked me "what about a personal check? do you have one of those?" and hallelujah I did! So I asked her who to make it out to and she told me. Then I handed her the check and my drivers license and she compared my Ohio license to my Indiana address on the check and I thought for sure she was calling the cops again.
Thank God she believed me and I drove away wiping the sweat from my forehead saying "Phew". Can I just tell you how much I despise confrontation like that...sheesh, I don't like making people upset. I was pleading with the lady and being the nicest I could be.
And so now the day is almost over. I'm in the middle of playing Donkey Kong Country on Super Nintendo with my 2 brothers. Such good memories from when I used to be a gamer...
Gotta get back now
Saturday, December 13, 2008
With A Pleading Heart
Gracious Father,
Capture my heart like never ever before. I want to want nothing else in comparison to my desire for YOU. Have mercy on me. I am Your servant. Open my eyes to new depths of Your love and grace. I'm falling into You, fully opened for You to embrace with Your perfection. Turn my eyes from the worthless things of this world and give me life through Your word. I need You Jesus. Because of Your steadfast love show me Your compassion, with all that I am I ask. You are my life. You are it. I'm Yours.
Capture my heart like never ever before. I want to want nothing else in comparison to my desire for YOU. Have mercy on me. I am Your servant. Open my eyes to new depths of Your love and grace. I'm falling into You, fully opened for You to embrace with Your perfection. Turn my eyes from the worthless things of this world and give me life through Your word. I need You Jesus. Because of Your steadfast love show me Your compassion, with all that I am I ask. You are my life. You are it. I'm Yours.
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Childhood Bliss
So I came home today to Bryan, Ohio. Home of the Etch a sketch and the dum dum sucker. Yes, you heard me right, the ETCH A SKETCH AND the DUM DUM SUCKER. I had the best childhood a kid could want. The 2 coolest toys made right down the street.
I know you're probably thinking, "Why did he ever move?" ha ha...
So I'm home leading worship for the first Sunday of my old church moving into their new building. It will be quite the honor to be there and worship with them on their first day.
Praise God, for His mercies are new every morning, and His grace is still sufficient.
grace peace and love
I know you're probably thinking, "Why did he ever move?" ha ha...
So I'm home leading worship for the first Sunday of my old church moving into their new building. It will be quite the honor to be there and worship with them on their first day.
Praise God, for His mercies are new every morning, and His grace is still sufficient.
grace peace and love
Monday, December 1, 2008
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Today's Prayer
Lord I ask that You would pursure past all my selfishness and convince my desires once again that they can only find their satisfaction in You. I long to experience Your goodness today. Lord Jesus Christ, Son of the living God, have mercy on me a sinner. Give me strength against tempation today. I let go of this life that I might truly live. I lessen the grip on my things knowing that everything is Yours, given to me to steward and that I've been blessed to be a blessing. I surrender everything I think I need to what You know I need. Give me a one track mind, wholly focused on You. May Your voice be louder than all the others! Open my eyes to Your grace all around. Grant me purpose and passion and strength for action, with wisdom and grace as I seek Your face. Turn my eyes from the worthless things of this world and give me life through Your word, and may more and more of my breaths and heart beats as I live, be for the advancement of Your kingdom. Forever Yours is kingdom, the power, the glory and the honor.
"Teach me your way, O LORD, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name. I will praise you, O Lord my God, with all my heart; I will glorify your name forever. For great is your love toward me; you have delivered me from the depths of the grave." Psalm 86:11-13
"Teach me your way, O LORD, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name. I will praise you, O Lord my God, with all my heart; I will glorify your name forever. For great is your love toward me; you have delivered me from the depths of the grave." Psalm 86:11-13
Monday, November 24, 2008
My Bro
So my bro, (the one on the right) now lives in Michigan, helping with a church plant called Evident Church. Have I talked about how excited I am for him? I rejoice with him in his new stage of life with the potential future of explosion for the Kingdom. I will be lifting him up in my convo's with Jesus. I love my bro, he's awesome. You should meet him, you'd like him. He's like 5 inches taller, 9 minutes younger, and can grow facial hair. His fashion sense is mind boggling. He has 2D vision. He spent 3 1/2 months in Ireland. He plays the piano like a mad scientist. He loves Jesus. And Gods got big stuff for him I know it.
Friday, November 21, 2008
Mountain Top songs
So I was just listening to one of my favorite songs ever. It is a song I would sing at the top of my lungs on top of a mountain. It's called "Everything" from an author who seems to very often write songs that that totally resonate with what my heart would scream.
His name is Tim Hughes.
Songs to be sung @ the tops of your lungs on top of a mountain...
DO YOU HAVE ANY?
His name is Tim Hughes.
Songs to be sung @ the tops of your lungs on top of a mountain...
DO YOU HAVE ANY?
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Thursday, November 13, 2008
leaf pickup and ellsworth
Today I was raking and blowing with a leaf blower leaves at one of the regular customers houses just like a normal fall afternoon. I was all buttoned up, hood on and sleeves pulled down past my hand to keep the paws warm. Then all of a sudden! I heard steps on the lawn behind me and tap tap tap on my shoulder went some fingers. I turned around and who might it be? oh it was Brandon Ellsworth! One of my electric guitar players for GSM had been riding on the bus I saw pass seconds before. I guess he saw me out his window and yelled at the bus driver "Hey Let me off here!"
It took me by surprise to see him and so I asked him what he was doing there. he said "I saw you rakin leaves and had to get off" I was like "dude you live miles from here ha ha what are you doing!?"
Brandon and I then chatted for a small bit then he called his mom and slowly but surely explained where he was. Brandon told me when he told his mom where he was that she said "Youre reading your bible where? You have a dentist appointment, you can't read it at home?" ha ha then he explained that He got off the bus to see Seth Bible, not read his bible.
Anyways, leaf pickup just plain sucks. No better way to put it. I don't mind and actually like mowing, but picking up leaves just bites, epsecially today when they were wet and heavy and no working mower to just suck em up. So Brandon was a pick up for sure. It was good to see him. He's a pretty cool kid actually and a great guitar player. I'm very blessed to have him on the team.
Oh and Jeff Myers is back from vacation...that makes me quite happy...love to you jeffrey
It took me by surprise to see him and so I asked him what he was doing there. he said "I saw you rakin leaves and had to get off" I was like "dude you live miles from here ha ha what are you doing!?"
Brandon and I then chatted for a small bit then he called his mom and slowly but surely explained where he was. Brandon told me when he told his mom where he was that she said "Youre reading your bible where? You have a dentist appointment, you can't read it at home?" ha ha then he explained that He got off the bus to see Seth Bible, not read his bible.
Anyways, leaf pickup just plain sucks. No better way to put it. I don't mind and actually like mowing, but picking up leaves just bites, epsecially today when they were wet and heavy and no working mower to just suck em up. So Brandon was a pick up for sure. It was good to see him. He's a pretty cool kid actually and a great guitar player. I'm very blessed to have him on the team.
Oh and Jeff Myers is back from vacation...that makes me quite happy...love to you jeffrey
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Last Night
Friends,I believe God was honored last night with bodies moving and hearts beating for Him as we worshipped at 1st wednesday..what a night of joyful joyful celebration. It was amazing and so fun. And what a way to kick off the night as well...Last night at 1st wednesday, Mark Beeson presented to me a brand new, top of the line, upgrade from my last one, Taylor guitar. I was pretty much in shock most of the night. I was blown away thanks to a few anonymous people who gave the money for the purchasing of such an incrediblely fine instrament for me. My heart is warmed as I sit in my chair at my desk thinking about last night and my gratitude levels are off the charts. God is soo very good for coutless reasons. Praise God for people. God I beg of You to use me and this gift as I seek Your face as hard as I can, to bring about massive amounts of glory for Your name and renown, and for people to be overwhelmingly caught up in you Jesus, falling head over heels in love. All I am for Your kingdoms cause.
Last night I played my guitar till 2 am.
Love it
Last night I played my guitar till 2 am.
Love it
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
My Twin Brother
So, for those who don't know, yes I have a twin brother. His name is Brandon, I call him "brother Brandon". He is about 4 or 5 inches taller and a few inches bigger round the waist as well, but mind you, he is nine minutes younger. So anyways, a few months ago some friends of ours planted a church in Mcomb Michigan. My brother had planned to move out there to help out with a few other guys to afford an apartment. Well I guess the guys bailed on him to finish school or something like that, so I think as far as Brandon thought, he didn't really know if it was going to even work out anymore. By the way, Brandon also does not own his own car, so that factors in here to pretty big. Well it had been a few months since all this went down and throughout those months, I personaly, as could others I spoke with, could see his want and really his need to move out there and be apart of this new church, but he really had no way of pulling it off, without a car and friends to help pay rent.
Well I got a message from him yesterday that I needed to call him asap cause he had some sweet news. This was unlike my brother...so i found a phone and rang him up...come to find out, a family told him they wanted to buy him a car! and that the pastor at the church really wanted brandon to be apart of what they were doing and said that he could live in their basement for as long as needed.
Holy cow when i heard this my heart was filled with much joy. praise God He is awesome...nothing better...none compares...Lord all we are is Yours, for the advancing of Your kingdom. Use my brother in mighty huge ways..fill him with Your Spirit and may he continue to fall head over heels deep in love with You JESUS!
Another note...check out this website i found. I really like it. Its like a daily guided prayer with a specific chosen verse w/ inspiration. Ive been reading one twice a day and its been great. These prayers for me make space, slow me down, and focus me at the beginning and end of my day. Sort of a labyrinth maybe. You could say a discursive style of meditation.
www.sacredspace.ie
grace and peace
Well I got a message from him yesterday that I needed to call him asap cause he had some sweet news. This was unlike my brother...so i found a phone and rang him up...come to find out, a family told him they wanted to buy him a car! and that the pastor at the church really wanted brandon to be apart of what they were doing and said that he could live in their basement for as long as needed.
Holy cow when i heard this my heart was filled with much joy. praise God He is awesome...nothing better...none compares...Lord all we are is Yours, for the advancing of Your kingdom. Use my brother in mighty huge ways..fill him with Your Spirit and may he continue to fall head over heels deep in love with You JESUS!
Another note...check out this website i found. I really like it. Its like a daily guided prayer with a specific chosen verse w/ inspiration. Ive been reading one twice a day and its been great. These prayers for me make space, slow me down, and focus me at the beginning and end of my day. Sort of a labyrinth maybe. You could say a discursive style of meditation.
www.sacredspace.ie
grace and peace
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Pop Tarts
So, only minutes ago, Kt, one of my partners in crime here at the church, and I were talking about pop tarts and how she prefers the "go tarts". I had never heard of these before, but i guess only 1 comes in a package and they are better for you.
Well I think Katie and I both know that whoever decided to put not just one, but 2 pop tarts in the regular silver packages is a brilliant person beyond their years in pop tart knowledge. But hey, pop tarts are pop tarts I think, and Katie and I will probably keep eating them until we die. Plus they have helped advance the human race in plenty of ways for as long as I can remember, I've just gotta believe that they played a big role in getting me through school, they kept me focused, gave me strength and endurance and put a smile on my face. Really I don't think I need much more, so hey, lets give the credit where the credit is due and lets here it for pop tarts! YEAH!! POP TARTS!! YEAH!!
oh and you so should check out poptarts.com...it jam packed with immense fun that will keep you totally hooked for hours.
Thanks Kelloggs
Well I think Katie and I both know that whoever decided to put not just one, but 2 pop tarts in the regular silver packages is a brilliant person beyond their years in pop tart knowledge. But hey, pop tarts are pop tarts I think, and Katie and I will probably keep eating them until we die. Plus they have helped advance the human race in plenty of ways for as long as I can remember, I've just gotta believe that they played a big role in getting me through school, they kept me focused, gave me strength and endurance and put a smile on my face. Really I don't think I need much more, so hey, lets give the credit where the credit is due and lets here it for pop tarts! YEAH!! POP TARTS!! YEAH!!
oh and you so should check out poptarts.com...it jam packed with immense fun that will keep you totally hooked for hours.
Thanks Kelloggs
Friday, October 10, 2008
thoughts and a story
So a few weeks ago I asked God, as one of my regular prayers, to have His way with me. And can I just say..I think He's doin it.
You know how when you ask and pray for something, for example we'll say courage, and most of the time He doesn't just give it to you right then and there, but He gives you a circumstance with the opportunity to be the courage you had asked for.
And you ask "how, if I didn't have the courage in the first place, would I have it now?" The answer, as I've realized over the past few years, is that He then requires us to trust in Him to be that courage we need in that very circumstance. And then, because we trusted Him to be what we could'nt be, and in doing so, admitting our dependence, acknowledging our need for a strength not our own, what then was His courage we realize has actually become ours. And we've then taken on more of Him. What a beautiful thing.
I know right now, God is trying to teach me and let me become more like Him.
I love when I just take the time to step back and look with different eyes and I see Him alllll over the place, in everything. It excites me, it makes me feel warm inside, it makes me realize again that I'm being endlessly pursued. No matter what, He wants all of me, all the time, He doesn't give up. I'm smiling right now as I think of this goodness. If I would just keep open my eyes to see that He's always giving me Himself, I'd always have infinite reasons to continuously worship Him.
Even though His death for my life is enough to worship Him forever, I'm human, and I need things to wake me up sometimes. Sometimes I need new things, I need other things, and If I could just get better at looking through this other lense, I think it just might keep me a little more focused.
Lord, increase my awareness of You in all things, keep Yourself in front of my eyes and don't let me look away.
One quick story:
So Tuesday evening I was traveling on the 20 bypass on my way home from Elkhart from mowing, when my truck decided to quit running. Well, it was because I had forgotten to stop at a gas station before i got on the bypass and so I ran out of gas. Yeah...so there I was going 65 down the road when my gas pedal started freakin out and I suspected something to be a miss and said "uh oh" and slowly but surely, with great precision, came to a halt on the side of the road where I just sat for 5 minutes and prayed for God to put gas in the tank. It started back up and I drove for another 2 miles when the truck died again going 60 and I coasted to the side of the road with my blinkers flashing so well like they do. "You playin tricks on me?" I kidded in my head with God. So I sat for a few more minutes and decided to walk. I didn't quite know my exact whereabouts but I just figured I'd walk till something happened. While walking I prayed that God would inspire someone to call my cell phone so that I could ask whoever called me to come pick me up. (Oh I forgot to tell you, I can only recieve calls with my cell phone right now, I can't call out.)
I walked and walked till I could hold up my thumb and blot out the truck from my vision. Then, with my head down, just thinking and praying, my peripherals spotted a motorcycle pulling off to the side of the road. At first I didn't know it was for my benefit, then I soon realized the goodness and smiled.
I walked up to the guy, pushed him of his bike and drove off. Ok, so for real, he asked me if I needed a ride and I just said I needed to borrow his cell phone if he had one. He got off his bike, took off his helmet and looked at me and said "hey do you sing?" and I said "yeah" and he said "do you sing at GCC?" and I said "yeah" and he said "I'm Adam Tarwacki's brother in law!" and I said "no way" and eveything from then on was beautiful. What better way to be rescued then by a relative of Adam's.
So then another friend, whom I owe my life to, came and helped me out and I finally made it home. To be honest, it was all kind of fun. I had nothing planned for the evening and I'm glad.
You know how when you ask and pray for something, for example we'll say courage, and most of the time He doesn't just give it to you right then and there, but He gives you a circumstance with the opportunity to be the courage you had asked for.
And you ask "how, if I didn't have the courage in the first place, would I have it now?" The answer, as I've realized over the past few years, is that He then requires us to trust in Him to be that courage we need in that very circumstance. And then, because we trusted Him to be what we could'nt be, and in doing so, admitting our dependence, acknowledging our need for a strength not our own, what then was His courage we realize has actually become ours. And we've then taken on more of Him. What a beautiful thing.
I know right now, God is trying to teach me and let me become more like Him.
I love when I just take the time to step back and look with different eyes and I see Him alllll over the place, in everything. It excites me, it makes me feel warm inside, it makes me realize again that I'm being endlessly pursued. No matter what, He wants all of me, all the time, He doesn't give up. I'm smiling right now as I think of this goodness. If I would just keep open my eyes to see that He's always giving me Himself, I'd always have infinite reasons to continuously worship Him.
Even though His death for my life is enough to worship Him forever, I'm human, and I need things to wake me up sometimes. Sometimes I need new things, I need other things, and If I could just get better at looking through this other lense, I think it just might keep me a little more focused.
Lord, increase my awareness of You in all things, keep Yourself in front of my eyes and don't let me look away.
One quick story:
So Tuesday evening I was traveling on the 20 bypass on my way home from Elkhart from mowing, when my truck decided to quit running. Well, it was because I had forgotten to stop at a gas station before i got on the bypass and so I ran out of gas. Yeah...so there I was going 65 down the road when my gas pedal started freakin out and I suspected something to be a miss and said "uh oh" and slowly but surely, with great precision, came to a halt on the side of the road where I just sat for 5 minutes and prayed for God to put gas in the tank. It started back up and I drove for another 2 miles when the truck died again going 60 and I coasted to the side of the road with my blinkers flashing so well like they do. "You playin tricks on me?" I kidded in my head with God. So I sat for a few more minutes and decided to walk. I didn't quite know my exact whereabouts but I just figured I'd walk till something happened. While walking I prayed that God would inspire someone to call my cell phone so that I could ask whoever called me to come pick me up. (Oh I forgot to tell you, I can only recieve calls with my cell phone right now, I can't call out.)
I walked and walked till I could hold up my thumb and blot out the truck from my vision. Then, with my head down, just thinking and praying, my peripherals spotted a motorcycle pulling off to the side of the road. At first I didn't know it was for my benefit, then I soon realized the goodness and smiled.
I walked up to the guy, pushed him of his bike and drove off. Ok, so for real, he asked me if I needed a ride and I just said I needed to borrow his cell phone if he had one. He got off his bike, took off his helmet and looked at me and said "hey do you sing?" and I said "yeah" and he said "do you sing at GCC?" and I said "yeah" and he said "I'm Adam Tarwacki's brother in law!" and I said "no way" and eveything from then on was beautiful. What better way to be rescued then by a relative of Adam's.
So then another friend, whom I owe my life to, came and helped me out and I finally made it home. To be honest, it was all kind of fun. I had nothing planned for the evening and I'm glad.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
gratitude levels up again
"A saint isn't someone who is good, but who experiences the goodness of God" - Thomas Merton
"As for the saints who are in the land, they are the glorious ones in whom is all my delight." - Psalm 16:3
Oh this is epic! this is huge!, to know if I've given my life over to trusting in the Creator, God delights His everything in me. Could it get any better than this? Seriously...I think not.
Lord, help me not live in such a way that I think is required of me, but help me live more of a life that is in response to Your infinite goodness. Everything is a gift, everything is grace. Teach me to live with open hands, open eyes, open ears, open heart, open everything, evermore increasing is then my gratitude.
"As for the saints who are in the land, they are the glorious ones in whom is all my delight." - Psalm 16:3
Oh this is epic! this is huge!, to know if I've given my life over to trusting in the Creator, God delights His everything in me. Could it get any better than this? Seriously...I think not.
Lord, help me not live in such a way that I think is required of me, but help me live more of a life that is in response to Your infinite goodness. Everything is a gift, everything is grace. Teach me to live with open hands, open eyes, open ears, open heart, open everything, evermore increasing is then my gratitude.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Knowing Christ
"Yes everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus as my Lord. For His sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ and become one with Him. I no longer count on my own righteousness through obeying the law; rather, I become righteousness through faith in Christ. For God's way of making us right with Himself depends on faith. I want to know Christ and experience the mighty power that raised Him from the dead. I want to suffer with Him, sharing in His death so that one way or another I will experience resurrection from the dead!" - Philippians 3:8-11
Paul was in a pretty incredible place to count everything he thought was good a total loss in comparison to knowing his God more and more, and want to suffer and share in His savior's death. I feel like so often I want to say this, I want to be in this place at all times, but too often I don't feel like I'm there. But this is how I look more like Jesus, when I strive to live a life that consists of continual times of this awesome transforming recognition. The question is, how do I get there when I don't feel even a bit close? And is it possible to live in this at all times, through every good and bad part of life? I'm not 100% sure, but if it is possible, I would say that its all about perspective. I mean, i just feel like there is a point when because you know God at a certain level, when you are confident in His overwhelming love and His promise of never leaving you, and knowing His victory over sin and death and you identify yourself as one with Christ in His death and resurrection, that no matter what you could ever experience, you can always look through all of lifes circumstances and be alright, and maybe not just alright, but joyful.
But going back to recapturing the view Paul had of counting all as loss in comparison to knowing Christ, how do we get there?
I think Paul knew God, Paul experienced God, Paul "saw the light" you could even say ha ha, and so Paul gave his life even unto death to live and preach Christ. Very often I get so distracted and forget my place, I forget who I am and whose I am, but when I see His face, like Isaiah did in the 6th chapter of his book said "Woe to me! I cried. I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the Lord Almighty." I then remember my place. When I see that without the grace of God I am exactly what Isaiah said, unclean and ruined, I remember that I am not my own, I was bought with a price, like it says in Corinthians 7:23...and that He bought me with His blood. All I am and have is on loan and so I must do everything I possibly can that is good for His glory, not because I think I can do anything to return the favor or try and earn my stripes, or should I say His stripes, but because of His love and my continual ever deepening recognition of it, I can't help but do as much as I can for Him because it's all I want to do is please Him and make Him known because I love Him more than life, and what is better than living for Him? I think our works must be much more of a response, rather than refusing His gift by trying to earn our salvation, and a response maybe more than a requirement even.
I think Paul counted everything loss because He knew God in a huge way, He trusted in Him, He knew that nothing the world could ever offer Him would or possibly could compare to the God he had experienced and come to know.
The more we get to know Him the more we want Him because we see how amazing and beyond us and beyond everything the world could offer He is, and at the same time we see how much more we aren't like Him and how much more we need Him.
I think paul's earthly strivings came to cease, he counted all loss, when he experienced the living Christ, totally shifting his thought process and what he thought to be important.
I'm often reminded that my imperfections, the things I've realized I sometimes worry way too much about to the point of them weighing me down enough to cause me to be unable to accept grace, are the things I should'nt worry so much about.
I should be worrying more about how much I look like Christ. Nothing about myself will change if I just continue to grieve over my stupidity and worry so much about the sin I can't seem to get over. Matthew 6:27 says" Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" Who of you can change by just worrying about what needs to be changed?
I've found that the thing that keeps me personaly from getting on board with paul in his statement in Phil. 3 is my sometimes inability to accept grace. I don't know what yours is, the thing that keeps you, but it takes finding that out, the hinderance, and seeking Christ above everything else you seek or worry about.
Paul then says in Phil. 3:12-14 "Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."
Paul has got a one track mind here, you see it? He says "one thing I do", forget whats behind and give everything I've got toward the goal, all I am for Your kingdom's cause. Nothing is more important to Him. Soren Kierkegaard said "Purity of heart, is to will one thing"
Continuing on in chapter 6 of Matthew verse 33 it says "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."
Striving to look more like Christ, seeking first His kingdom, is most important.
So one more time, the question, how can we, if possible, get in the same mindset as Paul?
I think what it takes is us getting our passions in their proper order and I think to do that is to align our priorities with His.
Lord, You said that You would give us the desire of our hearts, so knowing that that means by my seeking You and becoming more like You, taking on more and more of Your heart so my desire and Yours actually become the same I trust and wholeheartedly know that You want every part of me, so in response, Lord I want every part of You and I give You now every part. Get my passions in order and properly align my priorities, this I plead with all my heart.
Paul was in a pretty incredible place to count everything he thought was good a total loss in comparison to knowing his God more and more, and want to suffer and share in His savior's death. I feel like so often I want to say this, I want to be in this place at all times, but too often I don't feel like I'm there. But this is how I look more like Jesus, when I strive to live a life that consists of continual times of this awesome transforming recognition. The question is, how do I get there when I don't feel even a bit close? And is it possible to live in this at all times, through every good and bad part of life? I'm not 100% sure, but if it is possible, I would say that its all about perspective. I mean, i just feel like there is a point when because you know God at a certain level, when you are confident in His overwhelming love and His promise of never leaving you, and knowing His victory over sin and death and you identify yourself as one with Christ in His death and resurrection, that no matter what you could ever experience, you can always look through all of lifes circumstances and be alright, and maybe not just alright, but joyful.
But going back to recapturing the view Paul had of counting all as loss in comparison to knowing Christ, how do we get there?
I think Paul knew God, Paul experienced God, Paul "saw the light" you could even say ha ha, and so Paul gave his life even unto death to live and preach Christ. Very often I get so distracted and forget my place, I forget who I am and whose I am, but when I see His face, like Isaiah did in the 6th chapter of his book said "Woe to me! I cried. I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the Lord Almighty." I then remember my place. When I see that without the grace of God I am exactly what Isaiah said, unclean and ruined, I remember that I am not my own, I was bought with a price, like it says in Corinthians 7:23...and that He bought me with His blood. All I am and have is on loan and so I must do everything I possibly can that is good for His glory, not because I think I can do anything to return the favor or try and earn my stripes, or should I say His stripes, but because of His love and my continual ever deepening recognition of it, I can't help but do as much as I can for Him because it's all I want to do is please Him and make Him known because I love Him more than life, and what is better than living for Him? I think our works must be much more of a response, rather than refusing His gift by trying to earn our salvation, and a response maybe more than a requirement even.
I think Paul counted everything loss because He knew God in a huge way, He trusted in Him, He knew that nothing the world could ever offer Him would or possibly could compare to the God he had experienced and come to know.
The more we get to know Him the more we want Him because we see how amazing and beyond us and beyond everything the world could offer He is, and at the same time we see how much more we aren't like Him and how much more we need Him.
I think paul's earthly strivings came to cease, he counted all loss, when he experienced the living Christ, totally shifting his thought process and what he thought to be important.
I'm often reminded that my imperfections, the things I've realized I sometimes worry way too much about to the point of them weighing me down enough to cause me to be unable to accept grace, are the things I should'nt worry so much about.
I should be worrying more about how much I look like Christ. Nothing about myself will change if I just continue to grieve over my stupidity and worry so much about the sin I can't seem to get over. Matthew 6:27 says" Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" Who of you can change by just worrying about what needs to be changed?
I've found that the thing that keeps me personaly from getting on board with paul in his statement in Phil. 3 is my sometimes inability to accept grace. I don't know what yours is, the thing that keeps you, but it takes finding that out, the hinderance, and seeking Christ above everything else you seek or worry about.
Paul then says in Phil. 3:12-14 "Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."
Paul has got a one track mind here, you see it? He says "one thing I do", forget whats behind and give everything I've got toward the goal, all I am for Your kingdom's cause. Nothing is more important to Him. Soren Kierkegaard said "Purity of heart, is to will one thing"
Continuing on in chapter 6 of Matthew verse 33 it says "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."
Striving to look more like Christ, seeking first His kingdom, is most important.
So one more time, the question, how can we, if possible, get in the same mindset as Paul?
I think what it takes is us getting our passions in their proper order and I think to do that is to align our priorities with His.
Lord, You said that You would give us the desire of our hearts, so knowing that that means by my seeking You and becoming more like You, taking on more and more of Your heart so my desire and Yours actually become the same I trust and wholeheartedly know that You want every part of me, so in response, Lord I want every part of You and I give You now every part. Get my passions in order and properly align my priorities, this I plead with all my heart.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Saturday
What a day yesterday was. I woke up to mow lawns and was scheduled to be in elhart by 10am. Well things went sour and I didn't make it there until 11:30 due to this fact: I went to the gas station and the machine at the pump wouldnt take my card and I had no cash on me but was on E and had been on E the whole day before. So i drove home and picked up some clothes i had planned on returning but just hadnt had the time to do it yet. Well my only choice to get money for gas was now to return these clothes so i drove to the mall and took care of that and finally got some gas and drove to elkhart. So the day didnt start all to well, i was pretty tired still from Innovate the 2 days before, so a few lawn in i was supposed to mow this lawn i had never done before. So i got the direction to the house, parked and got out the mower and started mowing. I was about to finish when out comes this man with a smirk on his face looking like he wanted to talk to me. I i hit pause on the mp3 player, turned off the mower and his words to me were: " hey i think your supposed to be mowing the house next door" to which i said "ooooooooo really,,oh no,,im sorry,,well im about done, you want me to finish up here?" He said yes and we laughed and enjoyed my stupidity and i then finished his lawn.
Then I was on the second to the last lawn when somehow i wasnt paying attention and clipped this lady's sattellite dish. I didnt really even notice until i saw the lady come bursting out the back door pointing and yelling. I looked over at what she was pointing at and saw what I had just done and my spirits dropped, my heart sank inside, I mouthed the words "I'm so sorry" cause i know she couldnt hear me with the mower on.
Anyways, I turned off the mower and kept apologizing and we went inside for a 45 minute deal that did get worked out. Though it was very strange to watch this lady on the phone witht the repair company. I couldnt tell if she was a nice or mean lady. Her conversations on the phone were strange cause they were at the same time, her being nice and mean at the same. It was wierd, she would get really annoyed and then say something nice that was totally different from the look on her face and from what she had just said before, and this went on every conversation. 2 sides of extreme. Anyways, i finished her lawn and then did one more and then drove home to get the $90 it was going to cost to fix the sattellite and then came back to this ladys house where she gave me a hug and asked if i was alright, i guess cause i had this distraught look on my face, probably cause i felt so terrible about it and was practically holding back tears cause everything was mixed with being physically and emotionaly tired... then i petted her cat and proceeded out the door.
I was drained, i felt terrible, and just wanted to go home and sleep but still had to make some calls but my phone still isnt working so i drove to the church to use the phone in the GSM offices. I got out of my truck and before i could take my 3rd step, a little girl yelled at me and said "Hey, youre really cool!" Can i just say, after all that went on in my day, with the way i was feeling, that comment totally made my day. And with friends that i saw and other comments said and the way i was helped and encouraged and cared for once i walked in the doors of the church totally turned everything around...so a huge thanks to everyone. You rock more than you possibly know.
Now i need to find time after 3 big days, really 2 huge weeks, to just stop everything and think and pray and source my self once again deep in Christ.
love love love
Then I was on the second to the last lawn when somehow i wasnt paying attention and clipped this lady's sattellite dish. I didnt really even notice until i saw the lady come bursting out the back door pointing and yelling. I looked over at what she was pointing at and saw what I had just done and my spirits dropped, my heart sank inside, I mouthed the words "I'm so sorry" cause i know she couldnt hear me with the mower on.
Anyways, I turned off the mower and kept apologizing and we went inside for a 45 minute deal that did get worked out. Though it was very strange to watch this lady on the phone witht the repair company. I couldnt tell if she was a nice or mean lady. Her conversations on the phone were strange cause they were at the same time, her being nice and mean at the same. It was wierd, she would get really annoyed and then say something nice that was totally different from the look on her face and from what she had just said before, and this went on every conversation. 2 sides of extreme. Anyways, i finished her lawn and then did one more and then drove home to get the $90 it was going to cost to fix the sattellite and then came back to this ladys house where she gave me a hug and asked if i was alright, i guess cause i had this distraught look on my face, probably cause i felt so terrible about it and was practically holding back tears cause everything was mixed with being physically and emotionaly tired... then i petted her cat and proceeded out the door.
I was drained, i felt terrible, and just wanted to go home and sleep but still had to make some calls but my phone still isnt working so i drove to the church to use the phone in the GSM offices. I got out of my truck and before i could take my 3rd step, a little girl yelled at me and said "Hey, youre really cool!" Can i just say, after all that went on in my day, with the way i was feeling, that comment totally made my day. And with friends that i saw and other comments said and the way i was helped and encouraged and cared for once i walked in the doors of the church totally turned everything around...so a huge thanks to everyone. You rock more than you possibly know.
Now i need to find time after 3 big days, really 2 huge weeks, to just stop everything and think and pray and source my self once again deep in Christ.
love love love
Friday, September 12, 2008
Staying mindful and focused
It's been awhile since I've posted anything on here, probably due to the fact that my life, how my days look, has changed drastically and am now way more busy that I thought that I would be and really should be. 2 weeks ago I was slapped in the face with the overwhelming amount of things on my plate and realized I had commited to a bit too much. I do, I should say, feel as though I'm just learning some things that can only be learned in this way though. This week and next could possibly be the most busy since I've lived in Indiana. Most busy, as in, not just going places and doing things, but the amount of things I have to learn and remember and get better at and do well with. I know I have too much right now going on, but I'm commited and am going to keep learning to staying mindful and focused on the strength from above that is exactly what I need at every decision and time and from now on making choices with better wisdom and much prayer.
In all of this, what an incredible life I get to live when I let God lead. Often times during the week I think of the amazing things that God has brought me through and is doing in me now and the future of incredible excitement because I look back and seeing where God has taken me already which leads me to believe that Gods got much more in mind for my time on this earth. How I so deserve nothing but death in all truth, but how He gives me, as I learn things like submition and surrender, a life that is way way beyond anything I could even imagine. Thank You Lord
Father, give me purpose and passion, and strength for action; wisdom and grace as I seek Your face.
In all this, for Your honor and Your fame, and for the glory of Your name.
In all of this, what an incredible life I get to live when I let God lead. Often times during the week I think of the amazing things that God has brought me through and is doing in me now and the future of incredible excitement because I look back and seeing where God has taken me already which leads me to believe that Gods got much more in mind for my time on this earth. How I so deserve nothing but death in all truth, but how He gives me, as I learn things like submition and surrender, a life that is way way beyond anything I could even imagine. Thank You Lord
Father, give me purpose and passion, and strength for action; wisdom and grace as I seek Your face.
In all this, for Your honor and Your fame, and for the glory of Your name.
Friday, August 22, 2008
Looking Like Jesus
"Some thoughts on taking on Christ and loving w/ a love that only He can live through us."
John 5:19 - "So Jesus explained, “I tell you the truth, the Son can do nothing by himself. He does only what he sees the Father doing. Whatever the Father does, the Son also does."
How much we look like Jesus I believe is directly related to the amount of oneself given over to God repeatedly throughout life. The more and more we give up, give in, give over, surrender, and let Him take over, the more we look like Him and gain more of His heart and hear from His Spirit to guide us. I believe the amount of quality time spent on Him will show. So it goes the same for us as Jesus, we only do what we see the Father doing because we've spent so much time w/ Him and given up so much of selfish selves for Him to replace w/ Himself. It comes down to making space for the things that give life, and filling the holes that desire God, with God, not anything else, because after trying lesser things, I am convinced that our desires were created by God and can only find their satisfaction in Him.
And so in losing ourselves in Him, w/ continual surrender as life goes on, we take on His attributes, gaining in the depths of His endless perfect love and grace, looking more and more like Jesus.
Check out this awesome poem I found that I think embodies a humble grasping of what we have in Christ as we become more like Him.
Father, I will give You a gift of love
But I have no love that's mine to give
The love I know is what I see in You
Yet I will write my name on it
I will pretend that I am rich in love
I will be Your child and You will be my daddy
And we will play a game together
A game of self giving love
I will sit on Your knee ad pass out love
And You will give me more
I will pretend I am giving some to You
And You will smile at me
As though it were mine to give
I will give it out to everyone who passes by
And You will be very happy
Because You will know
It really has become mine to give
So, the more we respond to His love, the more of ourselves we give, then more He pours His love into us, the more of himself He gives us. Not to say that He doesn't already love us to the full because He has already given us all of Himself, but by greater responding means we are hopefully growing increasingly conscious of His grace in everything and in gratitude by continual greater and greater depths of recognition for what He has done for us, our eyes are being opened more and more to the fact that God is in an endless pursuit of all of ourselves, every part of us, and we are growing in realization of how big His love is and how much it covers us and that He truly is all we need. Proof of His perfect love is that He doesn't force us to seek and follow Him, He gives us the freedom to do so, and He lets us go as far into Him as we so choose. I think how much we look like Christ will show how much we actually trust that He is enough. The more then that we gain in His love, the more then we are enabled to love beyond just those who love us, for even sinners love those who love them. We will be able to love our enemies and even our friends who let us down. We will be able to better and better give the grace that was given to us. When we love w/ Christs love our love then goes beyond the regular love of the world, it becomes a love that conquers all, a love that heals and transforms and that has massive impact.
Matthew 5:43-48 "You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.'But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect."
I wholeheartedly believe that this is the love that Christ calls all of us to take a hold of in order to be His peculiar people, set apart for His glory. This is what makes us different, this is how people will know we are His, because we love with a love that is endless, because we are completely sourced in Christ.
This transforming way of loving isn't something we can acquire independently on our own though. As Jack Bernard says " We can only love with Gods love while sitting in His lap, and we can't continue to love like Him if we leave His lap. "There is no need to get up and leave, ever." - God.
Oh how i wish i could stay there! How i wish i could always be in the place Paul was when in Phil. 3:8 he said "Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ and become one with him."
But going back to the becoming more like Christ- I think it has to do w/ how important we really believe it is, which means as often as needed getting our priorities in line and also in reverse, the only way we can and will see the need of getting our priorities in line is to see how important it is and continually going to greater depths of realization of becoming more like Christ in order to have real and lasting and meaningful impact in this world.
I don't think we can see how truly important it is though unless we're in love with Him, because how in love with Him we are i think will equal how much we look like Him and have taken on His heart and what His heart beats for and breaks for. And I think the way to fall in greater love with Him is to evermore see God for who He really is, and then to see the depth and price of our sin and then to come to a greater and greater understanding of what He did for us, which then leads us into an amazing gratitude making us fall head over heel for the One who saved our souls and continues to sanctify us as we seek Him. I think this is what Christ meant when He said that if You hold onto Your life you will lose it, but if You give it up for My sake, You will truly find it, the abundant life He promises. Like i once heard DC Curry say "The more we look like Jesus, the more we live life to the full."
The goal is to look like Jesus.
Any thoughts on my thoughts?
John 5:19 - "So Jesus explained, “I tell you the truth, the Son can do nothing by himself. He does only what he sees the Father doing. Whatever the Father does, the Son also does."
How much we look like Jesus I believe is directly related to the amount of oneself given over to God repeatedly throughout life. The more and more we give up, give in, give over, surrender, and let Him take over, the more we look like Him and gain more of His heart and hear from His Spirit to guide us. I believe the amount of quality time spent on Him will show. So it goes the same for us as Jesus, we only do what we see the Father doing because we've spent so much time w/ Him and given up so much of selfish selves for Him to replace w/ Himself. It comes down to making space for the things that give life, and filling the holes that desire God, with God, not anything else, because after trying lesser things, I am convinced that our desires were created by God and can only find their satisfaction in Him.
And so in losing ourselves in Him, w/ continual surrender as life goes on, we take on His attributes, gaining in the depths of His endless perfect love and grace, looking more and more like Jesus.
Check out this awesome poem I found that I think embodies a humble grasping of what we have in Christ as we become more like Him.
Father, I will give You a gift of love
But I have no love that's mine to give
The love I know is what I see in You
Yet I will write my name on it
I will pretend that I am rich in love
I will be Your child and You will be my daddy
And we will play a game together
A game of self giving love
I will sit on Your knee ad pass out love
And You will give me more
I will pretend I am giving some to You
And You will smile at me
As though it were mine to give
I will give it out to everyone who passes by
And You will be very happy
Because You will know
It really has become mine to give
So, the more we respond to His love, the more of ourselves we give, then more He pours His love into us, the more of himself He gives us. Not to say that He doesn't already love us to the full because He has already given us all of Himself, but by greater responding means we are hopefully growing increasingly conscious of His grace in everything and in gratitude by continual greater and greater depths of recognition for what He has done for us, our eyes are being opened more and more to the fact that God is in an endless pursuit of all of ourselves, every part of us, and we are growing in realization of how big His love is and how much it covers us and that He truly is all we need. Proof of His perfect love is that He doesn't force us to seek and follow Him, He gives us the freedom to do so, and He lets us go as far into Him as we so choose. I think how much we look like Christ will show how much we actually trust that He is enough. The more then that we gain in His love, the more then we are enabled to love beyond just those who love us, for even sinners love those who love them. We will be able to love our enemies and even our friends who let us down. We will be able to better and better give the grace that was given to us. When we love w/ Christs love our love then goes beyond the regular love of the world, it becomes a love that conquers all, a love that heals and transforms and that has massive impact.
Matthew 5:43-48 "You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.'But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect."
I wholeheartedly believe that this is the love that Christ calls all of us to take a hold of in order to be His peculiar people, set apart for His glory. This is what makes us different, this is how people will know we are His, because we love with a love that is endless, because we are completely sourced in Christ.
This transforming way of loving isn't something we can acquire independently on our own though. As Jack Bernard says " We can only love with Gods love while sitting in His lap, and we can't continue to love like Him if we leave His lap. "There is no need to get up and leave, ever." - God.
Oh how i wish i could stay there! How i wish i could always be in the place Paul was when in Phil. 3:8 he said "Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ and become one with him."
But going back to the becoming more like Christ- I think it has to do w/ how important we really believe it is, which means as often as needed getting our priorities in line and also in reverse, the only way we can and will see the need of getting our priorities in line is to see how important it is and continually going to greater depths of realization of becoming more like Christ in order to have real and lasting and meaningful impact in this world.
I don't think we can see how truly important it is though unless we're in love with Him, because how in love with Him we are i think will equal how much we look like Him and have taken on His heart and what His heart beats for and breaks for. And I think the way to fall in greater love with Him is to evermore see God for who He really is, and then to see the depth and price of our sin and then to come to a greater and greater understanding of what He did for us, which then leads us into an amazing gratitude making us fall head over heel for the One who saved our souls and continues to sanctify us as we seek Him. I think this is what Christ meant when He said that if You hold onto Your life you will lose it, but if You give it up for My sake, You will truly find it, the abundant life He promises. Like i once heard DC Curry say "The more we look like Jesus, the more we live life to the full."
The goal is to look like Jesus.
Any thoughts on my thoughts?
Saturday, August 9, 2008
Starbucks
So I work at Starbucks, as probably anyone who reads this knows. I could tell lots of stories of my experiece thus far, good and bad, hilarious and sad, shocking and strange, but honestly, I have pretty much loved it all. Starbucks has been one of the only places that I have been away from for a week and when I got back, was really glad to be there. I just really like working there. I work with some of the coolest people. Some are really unique, some odd, entertaining, loving, really smart, seeking for truth, sweet, and just plain nice people.
I think Starbucks has been a place where I have grown even. My memory has grown. The fact that i can remember how to make every drink, or remember 3 drink orders no matter how long the modifiers are. Its really amazing to me actually. It was quite overwhelming at first, but i think I've got it down. I Also think It has been really helpful for me socially as well as I think i tend to be some what socially inept at times.Starbucks is a place where they really want you to be relational with your customers and build friendships and be that 3rd place as you've probably heard. Continuing on in that direction, the relational part of the job is where I shall now go.
I absolutely love the people I get to see every day. Sometimes it's the people that make or break the day. Sometimes people can be outright mean and blatantly rude. Often you get treated on a daily basis like a vending machine. They put the money in your hand (the slot) and you give them their coffee and they don't even look at you or acknowledge that you exist. Phones bother me, especially in the drive through, the ones that have bluetooth and it looks totally like they are talking to you and what they are saying makes absolutely no sense and so you try and respond somehow, and they say to their friend on the phone " give me a sec, the idiot at Starbucks thinks I'm talking to him." I remember one story I've told a few people when I was working the front register and some lady came up and ordered a bagel and a coffee and with all sincerity in my heart I said " So how are You doing today?" and she responds " I really have no desire to talk to you, just process my order." Often I have to remind myself that they are God's creation and maybe they are just having a bad day.
Other times people can just be just the nicest people and say something that helps get you through the next half hour on a bad day. Especially when those ones walk in the door, the ones who you have made relationships with. The ones who know what goin on with you and you know whats goin on with them.
So let me tell you about just a few people that I can think of right now.
There's John, who after a few times of him coming in and us having deeper conversations than just "hi how are you" we had started talkinga bout how he had got a new job and would be moving soon and so I offered to help him move. I remember that just blew him away, he asked me "you really wanna help me move?" and i said "yeah i do!" A few visits later I remember telling him about a week long tour a buddy and I were planning on doing and he offered us a meal and a room in his house for us to sleep if needed. WOW it was pretty cool.
There's Steve who is in every single day who gets a grande toffee nut coffee who is just the nicest guy who I had told about the show I am gonna be playing next Friday and how he said he would for sure be coming he said this on night, and i remember i saw him about to walk out of the store and he turned around and came back and told me he was sorry because he forgot that he was going to be in Las Vegas that weekend so he couldn't make it. The fact that he even did that amazed me, honestly. He couldnt have just not shown up and not said anything. But he is just a guy with a heart who wants to be honest and real and take the time to talk to me.
another lady Pam, who comes every day through the drive through who has kids in the back one day came through and told me that I was one of 3 guys on her 1st grade daughters "boyfriend" list. I was right up there with one of her friends and David Archuleta, but was behind him because I didn't sing. So when I told her that I do sing she got real shy. It was quite funny.
Even just another lady, who's name I don't know, who I've never seen smile or really even talk, who comes through the drive through all the time, the other day came through and she had done something different with her hair and so I asked her if she colored her hair she said yes and I told her I liked it and she just got the biggest smile on her face. Man that stuff excites me. I love to see people smile, I love joy.
All this to say, I know that I'll look back 5 years from now and be glad I worked at Starbucks. What a wonderful time I've had so far. God called me to Indiana almost a year ago now and I can say with confidence that Starbucks was His idea, not mine.
I think Starbucks has been a place where I have grown even. My memory has grown. The fact that i can remember how to make every drink, or remember 3 drink orders no matter how long the modifiers are. Its really amazing to me actually. It was quite overwhelming at first, but i think I've got it down. I Also think It has been really helpful for me socially as well as I think i tend to be some what socially inept at times.Starbucks is a place where they really want you to be relational with your customers and build friendships and be that 3rd place as you've probably heard. Continuing on in that direction, the relational part of the job is where I shall now go.
I absolutely love the people I get to see every day. Sometimes it's the people that make or break the day. Sometimes people can be outright mean and blatantly rude. Often you get treated on a daily basis like a vending machine. They put the money in your hand (the slot) and you give them their coffee and they don't even look at you or acknowledge that you exist. Phones bother me, especially in the drive through, the ones that have bluetooth and it looks totally like they are talking to you and what they are saying makes absolutely no sense and so you try and respond somehow, and they say to their friend on the phone " give me a sec, the idiot at Starbucks thinks I'm talking to him." I remember one story I've told a few people when I was working the front register and some lady came up and ordered a bagel and a coffee and with all sincerity in my heart I said " So how are You doing today?" and she responds " I really have no desire to talk to you, just process my order." Often I have to remind myself that they are God's creation and maybe they are just having a bad day.
Other times people can just be just the nicest people and say something that helps get you through the next half hour on a bad day. Especially when those ones walk in the door, the ones who you have made relationships with. The ones who know what goin on with you and you know whats goin on with them.
So let me tell you about just a few people that I can think of right now.
There's John, who after a few times of him coming in and us having deeper conversations than just "hi how are you" we had started talkinga bout how he had got a new job and would be moving soon and so I offered to help him move. I remember that just blew him away, he asked me "you really wanna help me move?" and i said "yeah i do!" A few visits later I remember telling him about a week long tour a buddy and I were planning on doing and he offered us a meal and a room in his house for us to sleep if needed. WOW it was pretty cool.
There's Steve who is in every single day who gets a grande toffee nut coffee who is just the nicest guy who I had told about the show I am gonna be playing next Friday and how he said he would for sure be coming he said this on night, and i remember i saw him about to walk out of the store and he turned around and came back and told me he was sorry because he forgot that he was going to be in Las Vegas that weekend so he couldn't make it. The fact that he even did that amazed me, honestly. He couldnt have just not shown up and not said anything. But he is just a guy with a heart who wants to be honest and real and take the time to talk to me.
another lady Pam, who comes every day through the drive through who has kids in the back one day came through and told me that I was one of 3 guys on her 1st grade daughters "boyfriend" list. I was right up there with one of her friends and David Archuleta, but was behind him because I didn't sing. So when I told her that I do sing she got real shy. It was quite funny.
Even just another lady, who's name I don't know, who I've never seen smile or really even talk, who comes through the drive through all the time, the other day came through and she had done something different with her hair and so I asked her if she colored her hair she said yes and I told her I liked it and she just got the biggest smile on her face. Man that stuff excites me. I love to see people smile, I love joy.
All this to say, I know that I'll look back 5 years from now and be glad I worked at Starbucks. What a wonderful time I've had so far. God called me to Indiana almost a year ago now and I can say with confidence that Starbucks was His idea, not mine.
Friday, August 8, 2008
Relevant article
i really like this article from Relevant Magazine
check it out
http://www.relevantmagazine.com/god_article.php?id=7550
check it out
http://www.relevantmagazine.com/god_article.php?id=7550
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Christ as King
"No one who is a real follower of Christ is merely one outwardly. Neither is transformation ever just outward and physical. The term "Christian" is for those who live from the inside out, whose transformation is a matter of the heart, by the Spirit, not by good works. So it goes for this person that they strive to find their acceptance in Christ, seeking His praise, not man's."
Something for a long while that has bothered me is the disheartning fact that there are many who call themselves Christians, yet in no way can you tell the difference between them and the non Christian. I think much of this is due to the fact that they don't view Christ as their King. They don't see Him as the One who rules over them, but rather more of someone who comes along side them to help them accomplish their goals. He's only allowed in when invited, taken out of the pocket when needed. The truth is, is that there is nothing that is not His. He owns everything and everyone. Revelation 1:5 says that Jesus Christ, the faithful witness, firstborn from the dead, is the ruler of the kings of the earth. 1st Corinthians 15:27-28 says "For God has put all things in subjection under his feet." But when it says, "all things are put in subjection," it is plain that he is excepted who put all things in subjection under him. When all things are subjected to him, then the Son himself will also be subjected to him who put all things in subjection under him, that God may be all in all."
He made everything, it only makes sense that it's all His. He rules over the physical, the invisible, every mountain, every thought. He rules over Christians and non Christians. He rules over every single aspect of our lives individually, there's no part that's not His. He rules over our time, our money, our clothes, our cars, our jobs. It's all His. Abraham Kuyper said " There is not a square inch in the whole domain of our human existance over which Christ, who is sovereign over all, does not cry "Mine!" Jesus calls us to relinquish authority of our life so that every part can be continual sanctified. James 4:5 says "Or do you think Scripture says without reason that the Spirit He caused to live in us envies intensely?" He wants every single part of us.
There is a big difference between seeing Jesus as just your "Savior" and seeing Him as your Savior AND "Lord" Because as just Savior, I feel as though He can be used for just when you need one. But as Lord, you make yourself all His. 1st Corinthians 6:19-20 says "...You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a price..."
He has given us our lives to be good stewards with.
So in the end I've come to see that Jesus doesn't want every part of who we are just so He can reign over us and tell us what to do, but because He is madly in love with us, because He knows that our wholeness is dependent on our giving all of ourselves to Him, and because He has created our desires and our need for things and knows that they can really only find their full satisfaction in Him alone.
More verses on topic i found that i really like:
Isaiah 40:22-23 says "God sits above the circle of the earth. The people below seem like grasshoppers to him! He spreads out the heavens like a curtain and makes his tent from them. He judges the great people of the world and brings them all to nothing."
Daniel 7:13 says "In my vision at night I looked, and there before me was one like a son of man, coming with the clouds of heaven. He approached the Ancient of Days and was led into his presence. 14 He was given authority, glory and sovereign power; all peoples, nations and men of every language worshiped him. His dominion is an everlasting dominion that will not pass away, and his kingdom is one that will never be destroyed."
Something for a long while that has bothered me is the disheartning fact that there are many who call themselves Christians, yet in no way can you tell the difference between them and the non Christian. I think much of this is due to the fact that they don't view Christ as their King. They don't see Him as the One who rules over them, but rather more of someone who comes along side them to help them accomplish their goals. He's only allowed in when invited, taken out of the pocket when needed. The truth is, is that there is nothing that is not His. He owns everything and everyone. Revelation 1:5 says that Jesus Christ, the faithful witness, firstborn from the dead, is the ruler of the kings of the earth. 1st Corinthians 15:27-28 says "For God has put all things in subjection under his feet." But when it says, "all things are put in subjection," it is plain that he is excepted who put all things in subjection under him. When all things are subjected to him, then the Son himself will also be subjected to him who put all things in subjection under him, that God may be all in all."
He made everything, it only makes sense that it's all His. He rules over the physical, the invisible, every mountain, every thought. He rules over Christians and non Christians. He rules over every single aspect of our lives individually, there's no part that's not His. He rules over our time, our money, our clothes, our cars, our jobs. It's all His. Abraham Kuyper said " There is not a square inch in the whole domain of our human existance over which Christ, who is sovereign over all, does not cry "Mine!" Jesus calls us to relinquish authority of our life so that every part can be continual sanctified. James 4:5 says "Or do you think Scripture says without reason that the Spirit He caused to live in us envies intensely?" He wants every single part of us.
There is a big difference between seeing Jesus as just your "Savior" and seeing Him as your Savior AND "Lord" Because as just Savior, I feel as though He can be used for just when you need one. But as Lord, you make yourself all His. 1st Corinthians 6:19-20 says "...You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a price..."
He has given us our lives to be good stewards with.
So in the end I've come to see that Jesus doesn't want every part of who we are just so He can reign over us and tell us what to do, but because He is madly in love with us, because He knows that our wholeness is dependent on our giving all of ourselves to Him, and because He has created our desires and our need for things and knows that they can really only find their full satisfaction in Him alone.
More verses on topic i found that i really like:
Isaiah 40:22-23 says "God sits above the circle of the earth. The people below seem like grasshoppers to him! He spreads out the heavens like a curtain and makes his tent from them. He judges the great people of the world and brings them all to nothing."
Daniel 7:13 says "In my vision at night I looked, and there before me was one like a son of man, coming with the clouds of heaven. He approached the Ancient of Days and was led into his presence. 14 He was given authority, glory and sovereign power; all peoples, nations and men of every language worshiped him. His dominion is an everlasting dominion that will not pass away, and his kingdom is one that will never be destroyed."
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Todays Prayer
Lord, today I recognize Your mercy new. I accept Your grace. I remember Your love for me and ask for greater insight into it. I acknowledge my need for You, and that You would hear and feel the desperation in my heart. For I know from the depths that You have taken me from, the transformation You've already take me through, and the plans You still have that are higher than I can imagine. I recognize You in me and around me and long for every breath I breathe today to be for Your glory. Oh that every intention and action would be in response to Your love for me and that they would be in line with Your will and resemble You. Lord there is nothing that matters in comparison with You. Teach me Your ways, guide me in spirit and truth for I want nothing else. Matchless in every way, You are too much to contain. I delight in You, my hope,my strength, my peace and joy. Where would I be without You and how could I live? I can't stand not being with You. You alone satisfy me, my every need and desire. All I am and have is from You. My heart beats hard with gratitude. I am forever indebted for all You have given me. I am nothing without You. There is nothing better than knowing the future of victory and eternity face to face with You. Oh my King, my Lord, all I am is Yours.
Monday, July 21, 2008
The First
Well well,
its 1:59, i'm at the Manor sitting @ a wooden table, on a wooden chair just barely shifting my weight forward so that the back legs just come off the carpet (this bothers jason for fear of me breaking it? I dont really know why cause i actually don't weigh a whole lot...jason if you read this, its not that i do it to disobey you, i love you, i just do it habitually), having made the decision to write the first post on my new blog.
In this newly found blog, i plan to write stories and share my heart, and just get out my thoughts on screen by typing cause i for some reason tend to be able to communicate and get accross whats goin on inside my head by writing it instead of speaking it. So for me, this is helpful, healthy and just good clean fun.
So here goes...story 1:
About a week ago i was casualy walking through the parking lot at Best Buy, looking down @ what i had just bought when out of nowhere...SHAABOOM...to my left some middle aged lady had backed into me with her minivan! I was instantly quite startled. I had just finished working 8 hours at Starbucks and was pretty out of it and sleepy, also due to the fact of 4 hours of sleep the night before, but was for sure woken up by the car that had just rammed into my body.
I was still feeling tired but wanted to make sure the lady knew i was alright, so i walked around to wave at the lady but she did'nt even look and then she just drove off. Honestly, i didnt even think about it right away, but when i got in my truck and sat down for a bit and thought about what had just happened 5 minutes before, i started laughing and laughing and couldnt stop. Did a lady in a van really just hit me? And did she really just drive off knowing that she hit me, cause she did stop after she felt her car move my body 10 feet. hmmmm
I think the term they coined for what happened to me was "hit and run" ?
anyways, i am ok, aboviously as anyone who might read this has probably seen me running around Mishiwaka since that wonderful day.
peace and love
its 1:59, i'm at the Manor sitting @ a wooden table, on a wooden chair just barely shifting my weight forward so that the back legs just come off the carpet (this bothers jason for fear of me breaking it? I dont really know why cause i actually don't weigh a whole lot...jason if you read this, its not that i do it to disobey you, i love you, i just do it habitually), having made the decision to write the first post on my new blog.
In this newly found blog, i plan to write stories and share my heart, and just get out my thoughts on screen by typing cause i for some reason tend to be able to communicate and get accross whats goin on inside my head by writing it instead of speaking it. So for me, this is helpful, healthy and just good clean fun.
So here goes...story 1:
About a week ago i was casualy walking through the parking lot at Best Buy, looking down @ what i had just bought when out of nowhere...SHAABOOM...to my left some middle aged lady had backed into me with her minivan! I was instantly quite startled. I had just finished working 8 hours at Starbucks and was pretty out of it and sleepy, also due to the fact of 4 hours of sleep the night before, but was for sure woken up by the car that had just rammed into my body.
I was still feeling tired but wanted to make sure the lady knew i was alright, so i walked around to wave at the lady but she did'nt even look and then she just drove off. Honestly, i didnt even think about it right away, but when i got in my truck and sat down for a bit and thought about what had just happened 5 minutes before, i started laughing and laughing and couldnt stop. Did a lady in a van really just hit me? And did she really just drive off knowing that she hit me, cause she did stop after she felt her car move my body 10 feet. hmmmm
I think the term they coined for what happened to me was "hit and run" ?
anyways, i am ok, aboviously as anyone who might read this has probably seen me running around Mishiwaka since that wonderful day.
peace and love
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