Tuesday, May 26, 2009

A New Song

Wrote this a few hours ago..
..think I'm pretty excited about it, which doesn't usually happen right away.



Grace Is Leading


I have found a way

To break all of the walls 

That keep the pain

From ever letting go


I have found a name

In light of all the lies and all the shame

That out weighs all the known


Oh look and see

The One who sets us free


I'll fight for the life that's found me

Even though I was not looking

And I'll wait here with all my heart

And I'll trust that Your grace is leading me


Giving up I gain

A life I cannot on my own obtain

I release all control


In fortune and in fame

I cannot keep my heart and place the same

Need in them and grow


My soul rests in You

For You have made me new

Oh there's nothing quite as true

That I'm loved through and through

Sunday, May 24, 2009

I Give Up

Isaiah 40:29 - "He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak."

Those who recognize their weakness, acknowledge, and admit it to their Creator, show the release of any grip they thought they might have over their life, exulting the One who holds all strength. In doing so, strength is given. God gives because of our decree of dependence on Him. 
When we deny the lie that we have any sort of goodness on our own, we align ourselves with truth and our hearts are then able to be shaped. Yes, believers and non believers can both do good, but it's only because we are made in the likeness of the Creator. Only when we give our hearts back over to the One who created them, can they be molded more into what they were originally supposed to look like.

The more I see the truth of who I am without Christ, the more I recognize the impossible of what He has done in me. And this makes me want Him even more. When I'm honest with my fallenness, I tear down any wall hindering me from the working of Christ inside my heart. 
Even though it's already been given, grace cannot be received until we admit our need for it.

Can you recognize that as part of being human that you are not perfect and will never reach perfection? 
Can you be honest with yourself? Can you admit that you are in need every day of continual help and guidance? Can you give up control of your life?

His perfectly loving arms are wide open, waiting to embrace us and guide us along the absolute best path for our lives. He is longing to lead us in the way of true life.
When we call on Him, He's there. 
When we seek Him, He promises that we will find Him.

May all your expectations be frustrated. 
May all your plans be thwarted.
May all your desires be withered into nothingness,
That you may experience the powerlessness
And poverty of a child and sing and dance
In the love of God and the Father, 
The Son, and the Spirit.
 - from Henri Nouwen's spiritual director

Friday, May 22, 2009

The Faithfulness Train

"I do not hide your righteousness in my heart; I speak of your faithfulness and salvation. I do not conceal your love and your truth from the great assembly." - Psalm 40:10

A couple years ago, before I packed up my bags and moved to Indiana, I was living in Ohio, in a town called Bryan to be exact. Bryan is where Dum Dum Suckers and the Etch-A-Sketch is made. If you look at the state on a map, Bryan would be found in the very top left corner of Ohio. This is where I lived most of my life. (Except for one year when I lived in Florida.)

Anyways, once my twin bro and I turned 16 and got our licenses, we made daily trips to Archbold, a town about 15 minutes away, to visit all our friends.
Years later when I had bought my own car and was working in Archbold, going to church there, and still hanging with all my friends, I had a specific way I would drive home every night. 
Every night I'd get home anywhere from around 11 to 2 am. 
Well there was this train that I would see every single time I would come to a specific point in my drive. No matter what time I would be driving near the tracks, a train would be coming. I'd come around the turn and see lights from the train every single evening. I thought it was pretty crazy. 
Then one night on my way home while I was just talking to God I heard Him say, "That train is like my faithfulness, I am with you at all times." 
And for seriously about a year straight after that, every night, no matter what time I would be driving home, I would see a train every time I'd drive by the tracks. 
And that year was one of the most difficult and life changing times ever. Every night I'd drive home, sometimes completely worn down, depressed, hopeless, wondering what in the world I was doing, and would see  that train and God would speak to me saying that He was there, in my pain, longing to join with me in my struggle, with arms wide open ready to perfectly embrace His son. His grace captured me time and time again. I found hope and life and peace and joy in that train.

"But you, O Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness." - Psalm 86:15

I tell you this story now because I am home visiting friends and family and was on my way home tonight going the same old way I used to and sure enough.. the train came and I knew God was there with me. 

His faithfulness is not based on reciprocity and I've never been the same because of it. Because of the never ending love and compassion He has for the hurting and broken sons and daughters, I have learned to recognize that the God of the universe wants to be with me in every moment of life and if I would just let Him embrace me, then I'd have strength that I didn't have before. 
His faithfulness has given me a new perspective on dealing with pain and struggle. I can have hope and joy despite the hell I might be going through. 
This is beyond amazing to me, to know that in all of life, in every beautiful moment and every total difficulty, my God is right there with me, no matter whether I'm faithful or not.
There's nothing better than that.

"O LORD God Almighty, who is like you? You are mighty, O LORD, and your faithfulness surrounds you." - Psalm 89:8

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

GSM Finale



This past Sunday we had our last GSM of the school year. It was phenomenal! DC spoke with much goodness, we worshipped our faces off, and God moved graciously in hearts. 
I've watched as God has done sooo much at GSM this year. I joined the staff at the end of last August and it's been truly beyond words to be apart of such a ministry and I can't believe all the things I have learned. I can't wait to see what God does this summer! New paths will be made, hope will be seen, love will be embraced, joy will immerse, purpose will be found, grace will fall, and kids will never be the same. I don't know if I've ever been more excited for summer.

We have summer break now from our weekend services but the summer is still packed with 3 mission trips and 2 weeks at Camp Adventure and more. Get ready!

Lord I'm ready and able, use Your servant all for Your glory. Move like You do best and envelope us with Your perfect love that casts out fear. We go after Your heart!

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

No Holds Barred

Psalm 41 - "But You have upheld me because of my integrity, and set me in Your presence forever."

Lord, You've supported and sustained me time and time again because of my integrity, the integrity that I only have because of simply accepting Your all gracious gift of salvation. 
I say yes today to letting Your spirit guide me, shaping and changing me more in Your likeness.
I recognize You as my complete source of life. All I am is because of You.
Once again, I step into Your will for today, pleading for You, so desperate for You to keep my focus on You! I can't do this without You. Take all I am, all I have. Use Your servant to bring You glory. I don't want to do anything else. Nothing less than all of me I give to You. I seek You! I seek You! I just want You. Lord I need You, my heart cries with all of it's strength for all of You!
You are my life. Your presence is incomparable. Nothing comes close to Your goodness.
Father, keep my eyes fixed on You. Quiet me enough to hear Your voice over all the rest! All I want is You cause nothing else matters if I don't recognize and remember You.
My purpose is to do Your will, to bring You glory. Use me for Your honor and fame. I want to lift high, so high Your name. Get me out of the way! Teach me, guide me, lead me, for I am head over heels for You!
Here is my heart, every single part. May it beat hardest, strongest, fastest for You my King!
I am longing for You with every breath. My hope is in You. My strength is You. Consume me now..

Monday, May 18, 2009

City of Black & White


The new Mat Kearney cd is out today!!
I'm listening to it right now.
All I can say is.. 
You might wanna get yourself a copy.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

A Trust Issue

Some thoughts on repentance and forgiveness:

There is not a single part of God that He has not offered us. We've been given His love in full, and along with that comes everything else because everything He does is based in and on love because He is love. He has held nothing back. We can go as far and as deep into relationship with Him as we want. Love is not forced, it is willfully decided upon, and so He gives us the choice to choose Him.

With that in mind, I've learned that forgiveness isn't just something that I ask for, because asking for something implies that I don't have it yet. Forgiveness is more of something I must learn to accept, this way, when I repent, it serves as an expression of gratitude rather than an attempt to earn forgiveness. So the order of forgiveness and then repentance, rather than repentance and then forgiveness, I think is absolutely crucial for understanding the gospel of grace. Repentance is not what I do in order to earn forgiveness, it's what I do because I have been forgiven. So it really comes down to a trust issue, because trust defines the meaning of living by grace rather than works. Trusting that every sin I've ever committed and will commit is paid for way before I could repent and ask for forgiveness is huge part of being in right relationship with our Savior.

One of my favorite verses:
Romans 5:8 - "But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."
I don't know about you, but this so very much excites me deeply. There's something absolutely beautiful that happens to a person when they grasp the idea of grace, that He is forgiven before he asks for it. There is a freedom he receives and lives in, through the understanding of this grace, even though he knows he will still continue to sin. We have been set free from the sin which we once had no power over. We are redeemed and are being sanctified as we seek Him.

I think then that when a person starts to get this grace thing, that another set of wires of understanding must connect and bring them to the realization that in order to really fully accept Gods grace means he must also fully embrace his fallenness, knowing that the full redemption in Christ won't happen until he is taken up into paradise, because if we were perfect now or could gain perfection in this life, then we wouldn't need the death of our Lord and King.


Oh Lord, that You would, I desperately plead, continuously take me deeper in the understanding of Your grace and love. Lord, that I might continue to grow in trusting You, the hope of my salvation, the source of my life.
I let go of the grip on my life and this world, and fall into You. Immerse me in You. Being lost in You is when I truly live. Consume my heart, my thoughts, all I am and do. I am Yours forever. Break me, teach me, guide me, lead me, use me, shape me, hold me, take me deeper into You. For Your honor, Your glory, and Your fame do I live and love.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Found Guilty

"Oh, what joy for those whose disobedience is forgiven, whose sin is put out of sight! Yes, what joy for those whose record the Lord has cleared of guilt, whose lives are lived in complete honesty! When I refused to confess my sin, my body wasted away, and I groaned all day long. Day and night your hand of discipline was heavy on me. My strength evaporated like water in the summer heat. Finally, I confessed all my sins to you and stopped trying to hide my guilt. I said to myself, “I will confess my rebellion to the Lord.” And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone." - Psalm 32:1-5

Why do we wait to run to Him? 
All of the sin we have committed and will ever commit has already been forgiven. "For by a single offering he has perfected for all time those who are being sanctified." - Hebrews 10:14

Guilt proves our conscience, but it's only good as long as it makes us want to turn from our selfishness and accept grace, leaving the guilt at the cross. Guilt should only make us realize our sin, it shouldn't weigh us down keeping us from living fully. Guilt that we don't let go of can deplete us of all joy. It clouds our hearts. I think it distorts our view of God. 
Like David said in the Psalm above "Finally, I confessed all my sins to you and stopped trying to hide my guilt. I said to myself, “I will confess my rebellion to the Lord.” And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone." Really, what good can wallowing in our guilt do for us? Where can that take us? We can't earn His acceptance, we can't gain His grace, nothing we can do on our own can redeem us from our sin. All we can do is show our dependence by admitting our weakness and accept the free gift of grace as we boldly approach the throne of God, because His arms are wide open and His grace is greater than our sin. "..but where sin increased, grace abounded all the more." - Romans 5:20

The only sin that can be overcome is sin that we believe is forgiven. So until we get to that point, we won't be able to let go of our guilt.

"So then, since we have a great High Priest who has entered heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to what we believe. This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most." - Hebrews 4:14-16

This is the only way to be free. And this is how we live in freedom. We recognize what He did on the cross and we must then move from His death to His resurrection.
Jesus didn't stay dead, and neither should we stay in our shame.
To fully live is to live in freedom.

"This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything. Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God and receive from him anything we ask, because we obey his commands and do what pleases him. And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us. Those who obey his commands live in him, and he in them. And this is how we know that he lives in us: We know it by the Spirit he gave us." - 1st John 3:19-24

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Shaped By Devotion

"Be strong and courageous, for you shall cause this people to inherit the land that I swore to their fathers to give them. Only be strong and very courageous, being careful to do according to all the law that Moses my servant commanded you. Do not turn from it to the right hand or to the left, that you may have good success wherever you go. This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go." 
Joshua 1:6-9

This is a huge reminder for me that a real, truthful, healthy, and progressive Christianity is lived in a continual everyday responsive seeking of His face with everything I've got. 

And that He's got my back like no one else has ever had. He is there with me in the lowest, in the times of hell, and in the highest most amazing times on the mountain top. He promises to never leave or forsake me and His words reign true every time because He is perfectly faithful, even when I'm not. 


In the verses above it says that all I need is what He has given. I just have to remember to look to Him if I want a life of purpose, fulfillment, and meaning; otherwise I'll get the latter in my own selfish strivings. I must take heart, be strong and courageous, and go against the tide when the world says something contrary to my Lord. If I trust in Him, my lifestyle will prove Him, it will make known what my heart beats fastest for. If I give Him my heart He will take it and make it beat the way it was first intended to beat. The shape of something has a lot to do with what it let itself be shaped by.

And so the shape of my heart has a lot to do with daily devotion over time to the Creator.

We all start off on our own path, but when we give Him control, He redirects us in the Way of true life. With the idea of being closer to truly human when our lives are His, the opposite would mean that we are less human when our lives are our own, our souls are dark and what's beating our hearts are the pleasures of this world.

God asks for our utmost love, so in order for our hearts to beat fastest for Him, we have to give our hearts over to Him to shape them in a way that allows them to beat strongest for Him.

If the religion we align our lives with is Christianity then our lives should look like that of the One it was made up after.

You and I are meant for amazing things. We are here to help change the world and shape it to look more like the One who created it. 


So is it possible for our actions to come closer to equaling our passion? 

Could glorifying Christ be the purpose of which more and more of our daily breaths be for?

Yes! I think so. And I think one of the many ways to answer that would come from asking another question.

Could you and I get better at meditating on the Word day and night? 



Oh Lord this is my prayer!

"Give me an undivided heart that I may fear Your name" - Psalm 86:11