Taking a break from this...

From The Heart Of A Friend

I didn't realize that this didn't work the first time I tried posting it... so here it is again!

I found this to be inspiring, as I hope you will as well.

These words are from the heart of one of my friends,

Lori Harmer.

Lord, take her deeper and deeper into You.

"I often sit frustrated and angry with the direction my life is headed. The big decisions, the choices, consequences, and sometimes even the questions that seem to resound unanswered within a broken heart. I don’t understand why I’m here, how I feel so alone, or where this pain is taking me? I’ve walked this road before; I’ve carried the burdens that seem to haunt my footsteps. I don’t want to go there again Lord, it always leaves me broken in the end crawling blinded through the crushing darkness that cradles my shattered hopes and dreams. WHY?! I scream as the breath rips its way out of my lungs. I don’t understand; what have I done wrong? The need within me growing, eating away at my pride, my resolve to remain strong. God…my dry and bare lips part to breathe, help me please….the words falling into my abyss of pain as I collapse to the floor devoid of the energy necessary to try again.

It would seem as though my story is over, the scene has come to an end, however though the actress in me is finished, He is not. The master playwright has in fact written more.

All of a sudden around me a light begins to shine, slowly it grows brighter as it wages war against the darkness. It’s incredibly bright now, the warmth and radiance of its glow has pierced the darkest corners of my pain and grief stricken heart. I open my eyes to see this wonder, but it’s too bright, I desperately feel around me as I stumble around the floor seeking something tangible and sturdy that I can hold onto. It’s then I feel the light surround me and draw me to my feet, I’ve been enveloped in a holy embrace. The light is healing me, it’s taking away the pain, its shining beams are scattering and diligently gathering the pieces of a broken heart I thought I had lost. The light that once surrounded me immediately begins to transform into hands that set about molding for me a complete and whole heart.

It is then that a voice breaks through my silent reverie, its words whispering all around me a humbling, healing balm. My precious daughter, I long to heal you, to help you and to love you, I want to make you whole with a new and beautiful heart that beats for me, but first there must be pain. The pain has broken you, it has grieved you and left you completely open and willing to rely on me, to truly rest in me. In your brokenness you gave me the shattered pieces of your heart that I might become the glue that holds the pieces together. I break you so that I might mend you; wound you so that I might heal you. I am renewing you. Your pain is giving way to growth and change, a change in your heart that better reflects the beauty that I have created in you. Take comfort my child; I am not finished with you, though outwardly through pain you waste away, inwardly I am renewing you day by day.

And then almost as quickly as they came his light, his presence, his hands, and his voice are gone and instead in their absence I am left with an insurmountable sense of peace that washes over my entire being and more importantly over my brand new heart beating contentedly within my chest.
What was once frustration is now satisfaction, where anger once resided calm has taken its place, all revealing to me the renewal that was done.



“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”
-2 Corinthians 4:16-18

I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on, there will be an end to these troubles but until that day comes still I will praise you Lord!"

"Here We Go Again"

Where I Find Myself Most

"For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God. And because of him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption, so that, as it is written, "Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord." - 1 Corinthians 1:26-31

Take A Breather

"Communion with God in the silence of the heart is a God-given capacity, like the rhododendron's capacity to flower, the fledgling's for flight, and the child's for self-forgetful abandon and joy. If the grace of God that suffuses and simplifies the vital generosity of our lives does not consummate this capacity while we live, then the very arms of God that embrace us as we enter the transforming mystery of death will surely do so. This self-giving God, the Being of our being, the Life of our life, has joined to Himself two givens of human life; we are built to commune with God and we will all meet death." - from the book "Into The Silent Land" by Martin Laird

So what's stopping you from taking a couple minutes every day and ceasing everything you're doing to be still and silent in this oh so noisy and fast paced world and just acknowledge that the God of the universe is closer than anything else and wants you more than anything else?

"Better is a handful of quietness than two hands full of toil and a striving after wind." -Ecclesiastes 4:6

"..In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength.." - Isaiah 30:15

And let me encourage you, being quiet isn't as hard as it might seem.

"I look towards silence.

It is not, as I heard, a peak with natural footholds

and the crampons left by better climbers.

...

Contrary to what they say there is no map

(they may be speaking of another place)

there is only surrender..."

- "Inside Out" from Pauline Matarasso

Also, may we keep in mind, as Sue Monk Kidd says:

"Withdraw to be with God is only valid if it leads us to transform all the rest of life into a prayer"

Can we learn to invite Christ into more and more of every space and crevice of our lives?

For our wholeness sake, He wants us to.

New Switchfoot!

Some Insight

"..I don't think for a minute that a centered life is the solution to all our problems. Rather it is a way to respond to our problems. We don't withdraw from the world to a center. We respond to the world from our center.

Instead of rushing about, accepting every job that comes, we get a sense of what's really important. Being centered allows us to bring that elusive quality of focus to our lives. It enables us to set priorities. From the center we can respond to chaos by eliminating that which isn't meaningful and bringing order and calm to the rest. For in the center we are rooted in God's love. In such a place there is no need for striving and impatience and dashing about seeking approval.

We need not avoid our active lives, but simply bring to them a new vision and shift of gravity. We are called to live a life rich and full, but rooted firmly in the center where all is drawn together in God and then flows out of His presence. That is when life becomes the silent dance revolving around Him, alive with the music of His love."

- from the book "God's Joyful Surprise" by Sue Monk Kidd -

Find Rest, O My Soul

"Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him." - Psalm 62:5

"He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." - Isaiah 40:29:31

"This is what the LORD says: "Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls." - Jeremiah 6:16

"Come, everyone who thirsts, come to the waters; and he who has no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without price. Why do you spend your money for that which is not bread, and your labor for that which does not satisfy? Listen diligently to me, and eat what is good, and delight yourselves in rich food. Incline your ear, and come to me; hear, that your soul may live; and I will make with you an everlasting covenant, my steadfast, sure love for David." - Isaiah 55:1-3

May your unfailing love rest upon us, O LORD, even as we put our hope in you. - Psalm 33:22

"O LORD, be gracious to us; we wait for you. Be our arm every morning, our salvation in the time of trouble." - Isaiah 33:2

"For thus says the One who is high and lifted up, who inhabits eternity, whose name is Holy: "I dwell in the high and holy place, and also with him who is of a contrite and lowly spirit, to revive the spirit of the lowly, and to revive the heart of the contrite." - Isaiah 57:15

"Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the LORD has been good to you." - Psalm 116:7

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." - Matthew 11:28-30

"May those who fear you rejoice when they see me, for I have put my hope in your word." - Psalm 119:74

"But this is the one to whom I will look: he who is humble and contrite in spirit and trembles at My word." - Isaiah 66:2

"I am the LORD your God, who stirs up the sea so that its waves roar—the LORD of hosts is his name. And I have put my words in your mouth and covered you in the shadow of my hand, establishing the heavens and laying the foundations of the earth, and saying to Zion, 'You are my people.'" - Isaiah 51:15-16

"For thus said the Lord GOD, the Holy One of Israel,"In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength." - Isaiah 30:15

"Therefore the LORD waits to be gracious to you, and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you. For the LORD is a God of justice blessed are all those who wait for him." - Isaiah 30:18

"You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you." - Isaiah 26:3

"My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him." - Psalm 62:1

Hillsong's - "Rest In You"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sr4_anyLMnY

I Want More

"I want to have less and do less..."

A few weeks ago, those words quietly left my mouth in a whisper while watching the owner of the house I live in play with his dog with such joy.

The whisper, I believe came from a deep place in me that actually is really longing for more.

Something hit me while watching them, enough to open my eyes to see that I often tolerate nonfulfillment by seeking fulfillment in the idea that within many things I can find satisfaction.

I believe it was spoken from a place that wants to grow in gratitude.

That wants to be fully alive in every moment.

That wants to be more satisfied with what I have been blessed with.

That wants to more fully appreciate life.

That wants to have fewer and fewer days finding myself at the end of them feeling like they were meaningless.

That wants to be less distracted.

That wants my eyes to be greater opened to the depth of beauty in all good things.

That wants to ultimately honor God with nothing less than every single moment and breath of the life that I've been given.

For He has set my heart on fire and all else fails in comparison to Him.

So if you're wondering... practically, what does this mean for me?

I have asked myself and others the same question over and over.

"What are you going to do differently?" "What are you stopping?" "What are you getting rid of?" "What new things are you going to do?"

And so here a just a couple of the things I have come up with over the past month or so.

I am reading more.

I have decided to try and make anything T.V. related a social activity only.

I am saying "no" to more requests on my time.

I got rid of all the clothes I don't wear.

I've realized that the little amount of cash in my budget assigned as "my spending money" doesn't really need to be for me. I have so much..

I write reminders on my hand.

I am praying every day for greater awareness.

I'm working on keeping at the forefront of my mind the truth that I was made to find life in the Giver of it.

I believe I have come to this place naturally because I've learned that we all grow differently. So I've sought to understand myself, why I do what I do; to figure out what's going on inside me. And this is something I believe we must all do. I think we need to constantly strive to figure out and learn who we are, how we do things, why we do things, in order to figure out how we individually grow. We can't live vicariously through other people. We can't do things the same exact way others do them and expect the same results.

Let us not covet each others spiritual journeys, but trust that God has made each one of us uniquely for a unique purpose. And this purpose, I believe, is largely tied to us figuring out who we are.

I've been learning that I am one who gets easily distracted and am driven by passion.

This is why I want to have less and do less because I am distracted by the many things and am

passionate about everything that looks like something I want, sometimes to the point of letting it consume me.

And so I will drive myself empty if I don't learn to be careful at what I surround myself with.

These 2 things can get me going and keep me moving so fast that I don't realize until it's too late that I'm out of air.

And so this is my next step in growing into who I believe I am called to be.

This is the type of change I believe that I'm called to, but let me inform you that your's may be entirely different.

Also, in no way do I want to deny the huge importance of growing together because Christianity is not a solo thing. I don't believe a personal relationship with Jesus should be as individual as I was told it was growing up. I need you and you need me.

I do believe though that there are things we must first learn on our own before we can join others and things we must learn outside of others as well.

"And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' " - Matthew 22:39

And so I think it can be said, unless you get to know yourself, you can't love yourself, which means you can't really love others..

I know how nonfulfillment can control me if I don't keep my eyes open.

And so because I've been learning how I work inside, I understand that I need to rid myself of specific certain distractions or they will have my head before long.

Simply put:

A big part of growing is looking within to see what actually needs worked on.

Inscribed at the temple of Apollo at Delphi, held up as an ideal in Latin and Christian philosophy was the phrase "Know Thyself".

Some pretty good advice I think.

"Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." - Psalm 139:23-24