Knowing Christ

"Yes everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus as my Lord. For His sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ and become one with Him. I no longer count on my own righteousness through obeying the law; rather, I become righteousness through faith in Christ. For God's way of making us right with Himself depends on faith. I want to know Christ and experience the mighty power that raised Him from the dead. I want to suffer with Him, sharing in His death so that one way or another I will experience resurrection from the dead!" - Philippians 3:8-11
Paul was in a pretty incredible place to count everything he thought was good a total loss in comparison to knowing his God more and more, and want to suffer and share in His savior's death. I feel like so often I want to say this, I want to be in this place at all times, but too often I don't feel like I'm there. But this is how I look more like Jesus, when I strive to live a life that consists of continual times of this awesome transforming recognition. The question is, how do I get there when I don't feel even a bit close? And is it possible to live in this at all times, through every good and bad part of life? I'm not 100% sure, but if it is possible, I would say that its all about perspective. I mean, i just feel like there is a point when because you know God at a certain level, when you are confident in His overwhelming love and His promise of never leaving you, and knowing His victory over sin and death and you identify yourself as one with Christ in His death and resurrection, that no matter what you could ever experience, you can always look through all of lifes circumstances and be alright, and maybe not just alright, but joyful.
But going back to recapturing the view Paul had of counting all as loss in comparison to knowing Christ, how do we get there?
I think Paul knew God, Paul experienced God, Paul "saw the light" you could even say ha ha, and so Paul gave his life even unto death to live and preach Christ. Very often I get so distracted and forget my place, I forget who I am and whose I am, but when I see His face, like Isaiah did in the 6th chapter of his book said "Woe to me! I cried. I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the Lord Almighty." I then remember my place. When I see that without the grace of God I am exactly what Isaiah said, unclean and ruined, I remember that I am not my own, I was bought with a price, like it says in Corinthians 7:23...and that He bought me with His blood. All I am and have is on loan and so I must do everything I possibly can that is good for His glory, not because I think I can do anything to return the favor or try and earn my stripes, or should I say His stripes, but because of His love and my continual ever deepening recognition of it, I can't help but do as much as I can for Him because it's all I want to do is please Him and make Him known because I love Him more than life, and what is better than living for Him? I think our works must be much more of a response, rather than refusing His gift by trying to earn our salvation, and a response maybe more than a requirement even.
I think Paul counted everything loss because He knew God in a huge way, He trusted in Him, He knew that nothing the world could ever offer Him would or possibly could compare to the God he had experienced and come to know.
The more we get to know Him the more we want Him because we see how amazing and beyond us and beyond everything the world could offer He is, and at the same time we see how much more we aren't like Him and how much more we need Him.
I think paul's earthly strivings came to cease, he counted all loss, when he experienced the living Christ, totally shifting his thought process and what he thought to be important.
I'm often reminded that my imperfections, the things I've realized I sometimes worry way too much about to the point of them weighing me down enough to cause me to be unable to accept grace, are the things I should'nt worry so much about.
I should be worrying more about how much I look like Christ. Nothing about myself will change if I just continue to grieve over my stupidity and worry so much about the sin I can't seem to get over. Matthew 6:27 says" Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" Who of you can change by just worrying about what needs to be changed?
I've found that the thing that keeps me personaly from getting on board with paul in his statement in Phil. 3 is my sometimes inability to accept grace. I don't know what yours is, the thing that keeps you, but it takes finding that out, the hinderance, and seeking Christ above everything else you seek or worry about.
Paul then says in Phil. 3:12-14 "Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."
Paul has got a one track mind here, you see it? He says "one thing I do", forget whats behind and give everything I've got toward the goal, all I am for Your kingdom's cause. Nothing is more important to Him. Soren Kierkegaard said "Purity of heart, is to will one thing"
Continuing on in chapter 6 of Matthew verse 33 it says "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."
Striving to look more like Christ, seeking first His kingdom, is most important.


So one more time, the question, how can we, if possible, get in the same mindset as Paul?

I think what it takes is us getting our passions in their proper order and I think to do that is to align our priorities with His.

Lord, You said that You would give us the desire of our hearts, so knowing that that means by my seeking You and becoming more like You, taking on more and more of Your heart so my desire and Yours actually become the same I trust and wholeheartedly know that You want every part of me, so in response, Lord I want every part of You and I give You now every part. Get my passions in order and properly align my priorities, this I plead with all my heart.

Saturday

What a day yesterday was. I woke up to mow lawns and was scheduled to be in elhart by 10am. Well things went sour and I didn't make it there until 11:30 due to this fact: I went to the gas station and the machine at the pump wouldnt take my card and I had no cash on me but was on E and had been on E the whole day before. So i drove home and picked up some clothes i had planned on returning but just hadnt had the time to do it yet. Well my only choice to get money for gas was now to return these clothes so i drove to the mall and took care of that and finally got some gas and drove to elkhart. So the day didnt start all to well, i was pretty tired still from Innovate the 2 days before, so a few lawn in i was supposed to mow this lawn i had never done before. So i got the direction to the house, parked and got out the mower and started mowing. I was about to finish when out comes this man with a smirk on his face looking like he wanted to talk to me. I i hit pause on the mp3 player, turned off the mower and his words to me were: " hey i think your supposed to be mowing the house next door" to which i said "ooooooooo really,,oh no,,im sorry,,well im about done, you want me to finish up here?" He said yes and we laughed and enjoyed my stupidity and i then finished his lawn.
Then I was on the second to the last lawn when somehow i wasnt paying attention and clipped this lady's sattellite dish. I didnt really even notice until i saw the lady come bursting out the back door pointing and yelling. I looked over at what she was pointing at and saw what I had just done and my spirits dropped, my heart sank inside, I mouthed the words "I'm so sorry" cause i know she couldnt hear me with the mower on.
Anyways, I turned off the mower and kept apologizing and we went inside for a 45 minute deal that did get worked out. Though it was very strange to watch this lady on the phone witht the repair company. I couldnt tell if she was a nice or mean lady. Her conversations on the phone were strange cause they were at the same time, her being nice and mean at the same. It was wierd, she would get really annoyed and then say something nice that was totally different from the look on her face and from what she had just said before, and this went on every conversation. 2 sides of extreme. Anyways, i finished her lawn and then did one more and then drove home to get the $90 it was going to cost to fix the sattellite and then came back to this ladys house where she gave me a hug and asked if i was alright, i guess cause i had this distraught look on my face, probably cause i felt so terrible about it and was practically holding back tears cause everything was mixed with being physically and emotionaly tired... then i petted her cat and proceeded out the door.
I was drained, i felt terrible, and just wanted to go home and sleep but still had to make some calls but my phone still isnt working so i drove to the church to use the phone in the GSM offices. I got out of my truck and before i could take my 3rd step, a little girl yelled at me and said "Hey, youre really cool!" Can i just say, after all that went on in my day, with the way i was feeling, that comment totally made my day. And with friends that i saw and other comments said and the way i was helped and encouraged and cared for once i walked in the doors of the church totally turned everything around...so a huge thanks to everyone. You rock more than you possibly know.
Now i need to find time after 3 big days, really 2 huge weeks, to just stop everything and think and pray and source my self once again deep in Christ.
love love love

Staying mindful and focused

It's been awhile since I've posted anything on here, probably due to the fact that my life, how my days look, has changed drastically and am now way more busy that I thought that I would be and really should be. 2 weeks ago I was slapped in the face with the overwhelming amount of things on my plate and realized I had commited to a bit too much. I do, I should say, feel as though I'm just learning some things that can only be learned in this way though. This week and next could possibly be the most busy since I've lived in Indiana. Most busy, as in, not just going places and doing things, but the amount of things I have to learn and remember and get better at and do well with. I know I have too much right now going on, but I'm commited and am going to keep learning to staying mindful and focused on the strength from above that is exactly what I need at every decision and time and from now on making choices with better wisdom and much prayer.
In all of this, what an incredible life I get to live when I let God lead. Often times during the week I think of the amazing things that God has brought me through and is doing in me now and the future of incredible excitement because I look back and seeing where God has taken me already which leads me to believe that Gods got much more in mind for my time on this earth. How I so deserve nothing but death in all truth, but how He gives me, as I learn things like submition and surrender, a life that is way way beyond anything I could even imagine. Thank You Lord

Father, give me purpose and passion, and strength for action; wisdom and grace as I seek Your face.
In all this, for Your honor and Your fame, and for the glory of Your name.